By Zoey Jones
I haven’t written an article in a while, but this is a topic close to me right now. The topic is relationships and how to maintain friendships and new love without suffering the ‘three’s a crowd’ reality. It’s not easy being in high school and maintaining close, intense friendships as well as budding romantic relationships. Something or someone always has to give and no matter who it is, it always seems that someone’s going to get hurt.
I’m starting to get close with Dylan and Alex is suffering for it. She is feeling like I’m abandoning her and the reality is, she shouldn’t take it personally, it’s just impossible for me to be in two places at once, so everyone has to take turns. It’s a really common problem with friendships, male or female, particularly in high school. It’s common and often people act totally inappropriately in attempt to get their best friend back. That’s what Alex did by attempting to kiss my new boyfriend and blame him. She was trying to prove he was a pig and that I should break up with him. Thing is, her plan failed and now she just looks like a jerk.
Here’s some tips for you lonely-heart best friends out there who are currently in the back seat of your friendships because of a friend’s new beau.
- Do not trash-talk the new guy. It might feel like the right thing to do, but remember that new relationships are exciting and new and your plan might backfire and your friend might just end up dumping you!
- Try a little tolerance. Think about it, is the new guy/girl really so bad or are you a little bit jealous? Try to get to know the guy/girl and maybe you’ll become a little bit more tolerant of him/her hanging around.
- Be realistic. The new relationship might not last that long. Try to be a good friend because friendships can be forever and relationships come and go.
- Save your opinion for when your friend asks for it. It’s not a good idea to start telling your friend your brutal opinion of their new squeeze just because you feel like venting. Keep it inside until she/he asks for your opinion. A little patience goes a long way.
- Don’t totally disappear from your friend’s life. She/he will wonder what’s gone wrong with your relationship. In a strong friendship, there will be time for both a friend and a boy/girlfriend so don’t disappear from your friend’s life assuming she/he doesn’t want to see you.
- Try new things. It’s not a bad idea to start being constructive with your time. Pick up with old friends or try new things to distract you from your changed relationship. This way you can be productive and healthy without ruining your relationship with your best friend.
Whatever you do – do NOT try to kiss the new guy/girl in front of your friend – it can only end badly. Trust me on this one…